Crackers!

Over on Pharyngula, there’s some beautiful foofooraw going on because some kid took a host out of a Catholic mass to show to his friends, and the Catholic community went crazy over it. Apparently the kid actually received death threats for kidnapping – or whatever the technical term is for absconding with a bit of cadaver – the body of Christ.

That’s the host, for those who don’t know – it’s a bit of unleavened bread which, according to Catholic dogma, actually turns into the flesh of Jesus when the priest prays over it. I grew up believing this kind of insanity.

So PZ chewed them out (sorry!) for getting so psychotic about the treatment of a cracker, and offered to demonstrate some more creative sacrilege if Pharyngulistas would send their Tentacular Overlord the requisite officially transubstantiated cracker. (No, a regular Wheat Thin won’t do – it would taste better, trust me, but it isn’t officially Carne de Christo until the guy in the black frock mumbles over it.)

Long story short, I’m tempted to go to Mass and take Communion for the first time in decades. (I did attend a funeral, three weddings and a couple of baptisms, but passed on the Jesus Snacks.) I’m just bursting with curiousity; what will PZ do with the Bits-O-God that he receives?

Still, I suppose don’t need to subject myself to the mind-numbing tedium of a Catholic Mass personally; the Pharynguloids include a sufficiency of potential Christ-nappers I’m sure. Besides, I wouldn’t go to make my mother happy, I’m not going to go for this far less noble (albeit funnier) purpose.

But really, what can you do to the supposed Body of Christ that’s less respectful than chewing him up, swallawing him and eventualy pooping him out? That kind of thing would definitely be considered less than respectful if you did it to Great Uncle Alberts corpse, much less God’s.

I’m tempted to make a bumper sticker along the lines of “It’s a Child Not A Choice” :

It's A Cracker, Not A Corpse!!

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~ by B.T. Murtagh on July 10, 2008.

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